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Business : #ecademyschool 'Why do most bids sound like they've been written by a corporate drone?'

by BlackStarVerified SafeNetworking [18.26:1200] on 29-Jul-10 3:28pm

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Because people in business feel compelled to use a language they wouldn't dream of using in everyday life. So help becomes assist or facilitate, use becomes utilise, a tip becomes a gratuity. My theory on this is that most people are insecure about their writing and try to impress their reader by using what we in the trade call 'high register language': the words I've just shown you. The opposite is the case. Management-speak, MBA-itis, corporate lingo, buzzwords, jargon, geek-speak - all conspire to turn their reader OFF. 

The answer? Write more as you'd speak. We can still be professional, polite, robust and credible while using everyday language that your reader will instantly understand and respond to. Otherwise you have to issue a copy of the Oxford English Dictionary with every bid you submit. 

Scott Keyser
Invitation2tender.com
+44 (0) 20 8671 0457
+44 (0) 7715 771325
http://www.writeforresults.com
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I'd have thought that..............................

Likes (0) by Maurice Watts, the MarketerBlackStarVerified SafeNetworking [37.34:98] on 30-Jul-10 1:14am : Reply

....................... you'd write it in language that the target audience would relate to. If they expect "high register" give it to them If they expect "textspeak" likewise.

Our output is to please and communicate with them, in their terms, Clarity is of course vital but simple does not always (even if often) mean clear.

I abhor (dislike intensely - hate) jargon but if that is what your target group use all the time then you should seriously consider it if you want to seem to belong. In da hood talk like in da hood, yeah?

Lawyers (at least in the UK) often use aparrently 'high register' terms because legal precedent has established precise legal meanings for certain words but not for common alternatives.

Regards -
 Maurice

 Melville Marketing

Checkout my new Book "Haiku From a Celtic Heart"and the Haiku Ringtone!
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#ecademyschool 'Why do most bids sound like they've been written

Likes (0) by Solveigh CalderinPowerNetworkerVerified SafeNetworking [34.19:157] on 30-Jul-10 6:16am : Reply
In German we have the same problem as you describe it in your blog.

Even worse: In a moment a lot of Germans begin to write anything, even personal messages, it sounds like they try to be very literary, but actually they can't. So they achieve the opposite of what they want, their writing is stilted and formal. For me it is first of all unpersonal and unsympathic.

To get to know a person or business I need authenticity, also in their language.

Thank you for your blog.

Solveigh Calderin
Hereke Carpets - Tradition, Beauty, Luxury and Elegance
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